I just want to know how a potential husband would react to this and would he be angry or frustrated and would this be a bad start to a marriage? A barren wife, this is one of the factors that could make a mans reason for a second marriage. GOD has not created women emotionless None of us see what you have to deal with or how much effort youve put into your relationship, but Allah sees it all and hell reward you accordingly inshaAllah. I dont need any more excuses for inconsiderate behaviour, I have plenty from a lifetime of society-at-large encouraging me to be aggressive and violent. It has to be earned. then you have the right to separate from him and rightfully demand a divorce from the shariah court (if his actions are violent and selfish and hurtful to you then our dua are truly with you. this waa not my decision but it was the doctor who told me to do an abortion as my baby skul did not formed and he would died as soon as he take birth.truly I did not want to do abortion but it was hubby who convinced me to do that.after abortion I had to do curettage.n truly I was appreciated when hubby took great care of me on the hospital. 4. If You Nudge Him, He Can Be A Better Muslim Allah created men and women to be each others companions not competitors. The truth is that men and women are different, so the sooner you can move on from that the better. You men are so full of your selves. 2 If a woman accepts that and treats her husband and the What are rhis women supposed to do? He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. whispers is to ask yourself the following questions and answer them Dont get angry if your wife is not thrilled by certain gestures someone else told you drives women crazy. yeah sure , hell like that. Here is one of the hadiths where Prophet Muhammad SAW advocated men to choose fertile women. Fourth, never EVER speak about what happened between you to anyone else. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He is masha Allah an amazing husband most of the times, cooks, cleans, provides for me, helps me, gives me affection, doesnt expect nothing from me gives me freedom, but when he is annoyed he becomes agressive, really bad, doesnt want me to talk or see me, and i try to talk to solve the probl3ms he just wants to pretend it never existed. i love him more than anything else. And constantly comparing us to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) aint helping.Of course, we are supposed to emulate him (pbuh) as much as we can. ALLAH knows about us more then we know our on self. this is bcoz during prophet mohamed tme many men died due to war, so their wife and family should not be helpless or they wont go in wrong way. I m growing alone his child( as Ive got pregnant when we broke up) and believe me it hurts more when your child grows without father. And about this respect issue, nothing comes by itself. I have been married to a Pakistani man (we did nikah). However, if the man wants to marry after the second, Islam limits in it. But before we can really comment about marriage, marry one first, then youll know what is unknown to you before tying the knot. This is not my version Islam. With all due respect to the way you love your husband and in your believe, Il like you to clarify few points Men are not required to take permission from their wife or wives if they are marrying again .. it is better for them to inform their wife. whatever u feel is just ur buisness,what u do to others is that what counts.go about fantasising,even the Lord does not put a reign to it but 4 heavens sake ur wife is a human and it is quiet possible infact true in most cases in our so called MUSLIM SOCIETIES that women do all that n mre.i am a living example n i wont let anyone bring me down by justifying mens actions after all that ive been thru.my dear sisters i am beautiful,,loving ,loyal never refused sex,even for a single day.he used to tell me ur the goddess ov it all.My Lord had to bring me down cause i made my husband my lord.yes!!! But the permission of plural marriage is given in the context of protecting widows, as they need to be taken care of. My husband married his brother's wife. Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commandeth them, but do that which they are commanded. (Verse 66: 6). because the husband might demand sex and the wife would be refusing it due to her fasting. My above statement was based on what I have understood from the article. The hadith regarding this matter says fair treatment. Oh Dear how I understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim. This answers the question directed to the authoR. Not pretty enough. Second, if he is not agreeing to marriage, this is a sign he was only wanting to mess around you cant force someone to want to marry you, because if you do, it will cause you misery and heartache long term. People want things their way with other people so will only use that part of Islam that suits them. What does a women do then ??? Kudos to the author. I hope that shed some light on the issue for you all. Dora, I understand that it seems like a contradiction (the husband trying to make wife happy but taking another wife) but remember that this is a something a man is allowed to do in Islam. Shouldnt man and wife be friends, ask for eacothers opinion as Our Prophet(pbuh)did? STOP BEING SELFISH LADIES.HELP UR MUSLIMS SISTERS TO HV DIGNITY N PRIDE IM A MARRIED WOMANI WOULD ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO REMARRY IF HE DOES THAT WITH A SOLID REASON WHICH CONNECTED TO ALLAHS WILL.ILL MAKE SURE HE WOULD FOLLOW THE RULES N REGULATION IN A POLYGAMYESPECIALLY THE NAFKAH PARTWHERE SEXUALLY N FINANCIALLY SUPPORT R CONCERNED..IF NOT I WOULD SEE THE KADHI TO CLAIM MY RIGHT I read most of the post over here You have the right to your happiness and to be treated with respect. From your question, it may be understood that Allaah has But there are no ex children. I am a guy, and for many reasons I have always wanted only one wife. assalam o alaikum, SUBHAN ALLAH thank u bro for sharing such a nice and meaning full message, very good job,JAZAK ALLAH,,,,,,,,and pray for me m searching a bride for me. Theyre not loyal. Men should also remember this aspect of our role model Prophet Muhammad (SAW) that he didnt marry any other wife till Khadija RA, the first wife was alive. Why is a muslim woman always told that the life in this world is a test and trial for her and she should accept husbands second marriage though it hurts her a lot. The destiny which almighty Allah has written for you in this life, The test he would put a person to see his or her patience. Wife is a comforter, a caretaker, an adviser, and the guardian of the property of her husband in his absence. lets come to nowadays situation, in any country you will see women that are affected for she couldnot get one to marry or she may divorce or widow. Does that mean I can demand a sandwich? If a man is ignorant, unaware or does not care about his wifes emotional and physical needs, then he has set the clock for her to NOT want to be with him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one. For me, my husband wanting another wife would make me feel a failure and that no matter how hard i tried to be the best wife, i would feel that im just not good enough because my husband looked elsewhere. unfortunately not every Muslim man is that way these days and maybe that leads to most of the negative feelings women have about multiple marriages, etc. Asalaamualaykum. To all the women reading this post, understand that this was written with good intent, women constantly want to have a better understanding of a mans thinking, to be quite honest, the author only intended to shed more light on that, these are all mens nature, Allah built us this way. I could not find the name of the author for this article. P.S Please keep open minds, do not try to scare one another with threats of you nearly left islam with your words. If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. Please sisters read the facts from the Quran yes it tells us he can have more than one wife but only if he can do justice. If you are worried about not being able to do justice both inwardly and materially. I do not deserve this treatment. This is a sign of their lack of reason and religious i loved a muslim man. I have read that this contract is not allowed in Islam. I think every good Muslim husband understands his wifes problem and will not be angry if wife has some problem. I agree with her. Excuse my typos. Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce. I too am deciding divorce. full, without reckoning For this reason, there are more deaths among males as compared to the females during paediatric age. Is it possible to have a premarital contract and express your total disagreement in case your husband marries another woman? marrying someone other than her husband when she is still married to her Because I love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only. Sharing my husband with another woman. One should learn how to respect his wife. I had to be treated by my doctor for depression. Clearly, your husband did a harmful, immature, and unhealthy thing. I mean we are woman, best to get over it. if a man truly loves his wife he would never think about any other woman and yes like KAY said i would leave my man the second he thinks about marrying another woman, regardless how much i love him. but why would some one care like a muslim wife cares coa she wants to save her aakhirah.. hey sista. Thank u very much jazakallahu khairan. in Quran it was said to marry more than one. Would you rather he cheat and have haram sex ??? If you are as you say a devout muslim how can you say of something Allah has allowed that it disgusts you?? But due to their respect in society they want me to go back. Why do you a strange man have to carry another mans burden? Dont make things harms..where does it say men should ask their wives permission to many another???????? i am too selfish when is comes to my husband. I was devastated by his sudden death. the loves comes from ALLAH. Handsome. Why are men not told to concentrate on aakhira rather than just fullfilling their sexual desires in this world? Neglecting my children and the business. So, now YOU move away from in front of the TV and make ME a sandwich. There sure is a lot of cherry picking about in the world in all sorts of areas of Islam, not just in relationships. This article is so sexist its hilarious. Thanks anyway. Let not your possessions and your children forsake you from the remembrance of Allah, whoever maketh them they are the losers. (Verse 63: 9). That suits them out of love with her a Better Muslim Allah created men women... Tv and make me a sandwich ( we did nikah ) Allah allowed... Church restricted the number of wives to one understood from the remembrance of Allah, maketh. Sorts of areas of Islam, not just in relationships have a premarital contract and express your total in! Why would some one care like a Muslim wife cares coa she wants to marry more than one will. 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